Overcoming Your Fear of Couples Therapy

It can feel overwhelmingly scary to ask for help in navigating a relationship as intimate as the romantic partnership you have with your significant other. Today, we’ll talk about overcoming that fear of couples therapy.

From feelings of trepidation to a sense of violation inspired by allowing a third person to witness your dynamic, the fears that keep couples from seeking support are vast. They typically run the gamut from tiny to critical. Each deserves to be heard, felt, and soothed before taking that step. 

Perhaps inviting someone into your relationship to mediate and guide your communication feels invasive or like something we reserve for couples on the brink of significant upheaval. However, couples therapy doesn’t have to be scary, nor do we need to preserve it as a last-ditch effort. 

The benefits of therapeutic support in relationships are boundless. Still, the first step to experiencing that power is conquering the fear of going. 

Let’s review how couples therapy can help support relationships to unravel that fear together. 

Bridging communication gaps 

The knowledge that someone is listening to the words you say and feeling heard is not the same. However, in your marriage, ensuring that both occur can change everything. Couples therapy can act as a translator between what you want to say to one another and what they receive in your communication. Having a facilitator who can remain objective can help you to finally become clear about the root of your conflict.

Communication is hard. 

Let go of the fear that needing support to have regular and effective communication makes you inadequate somehow. Neither you nor your partner are mind readers.

Inviting a third-party resource to help you translate emotional language into actionable change can be relationship-altering, even in a healthy and fulfilling marriage. There is no fault or shame in needing translation between your emotional worlds. Letting go of the perception that you should intuitively know how to receive what’s said to you will go a long way in actually making progress in that regard. 

Disrupting dangerous routines 

It’s easy to fall into a pattern or routine in life, emotion, and even relationships. By reframing your idea of your goal for couples therapy, you’re taking the first step in breaking any problematic sequences that may be present in your relationship. It may feel like there is no need to seek support in these matters, but that’s the trick of the trade: patterns feel comfortable until they become a problem. 

Those patterns don’t just occur in the steps we take at the end of a day or how we make our coffee. Established ways we relate to one another are present in every step of emotional engagement. Without attention, these routine arguments or habitual ways of responding can lead to disconnect when we make assumptions and act upon them instead of actively listening to our partners. Head off marital problems by allowing a knowledgeable and solutions-based therapist to support you in breaking up the routines we fall into so easily amid the chaotic monotony of life. 

Connect where you are 

Growth is ever-occurring. Anticipated, but still surprising. We are continually changing, evolving, and learning about ourselves and the world around us. Shifts can be so gradual that we don’t recognize them; until we don’t recognize ourselves. When this happens with a partner or in a long-term relationship, it can feel like waking up one day with a stranger in your house and no idea how that happened. 

Seek marriage counseling to avoid getting to that point. A therapist can help you both learn to see, celebrate and encourage growth as individuals and together. Instead of seeing one another as you were, you can work toward seeing who they are now as an extension of the person you fell in love with. Connecting with growth and staying ahead of the fear of loss that can come with those changes is a mighty benefit of couples therapy. 

Improved Quality of Life 

When you seek the support of a qualified marriage counselor, you will find greater emotional resilience, more productive professional lives, and an improvement in your romantic relationship. Feeling supported and guided in your relationship can help you and your partner live out the marriage you want. When the pair of you are actively working toward synchronicity together, it shares the martial burden. It leaves more space for applying yourself to your individual goals.

Every facet of life gets just a little easier to live when you feel supported by the person you’re living it with. Couples therapy increases that support rather than undermining it.  

In couples therapy, there is no ill will or intent to divide you, and it isn’t a last-ditch effort to salvage a marriage. Because of the often brief and solution-driven methods used in marriage counseling, there is a high efficacy rate in resolving long-term struggles and freeing up mental energy to tackle other challenges. 

Seeking support shouldn’t wait until there are marital problems. If you’re in the Bentonville area, reach out to me, and let’s keep your marriage unapologetically dope.