When You’re Facing Difficult Life Transitions
What is a Life Transition?
Every single person goes through life transitions, although many times we are unaware and don’t recognize it in the moment for what it is.
A life transition is simply a change from one life season to the next. This can take the form of grief over a lost loved one, sadness about growing up, moving to a new town, or even career changes.
Adoption
Car accidents
Career change
Changes in finances
Changes in faith and/or spirituality
Death of a loved one
Disability
Divorce
Empty Nest
Going to college
Graduating
Health changes
Leaving home
Loss of job/income
Moving
Pregnancy
Retirement
Separation
Significant breakups
Different Types of Life Transitions
Anticipated Changes.
Anticipated life transitions are transitions that are expected to occur. These transitions tend to be a natural part of growing up and adulthood. Anticipated life transitions may vary from culture to culture as societal expectations differ.
Some examples of anticipated life transitions are graduating high school or college, finding a job, getting married and starting a family.
Anticipated life transitions have the benefit of added support by going through these transitions with the mass norm. For example, if someone begins a family during the time period where this is the norm of their society and friends, they are more likely to have plenty of support to ease the transition. However, anticipated life transitions that happen outside the norm of society may cause added stress and turn into a crisis because people may feel as though they have less support available to them.
Unanticipated Changes.
Unanticipated transitions are transitions that can happen at any time and do not follow a traditional timeline dictated by society.
Some examples of these are unexpected illnesses, a layoff from a job, or a car accident resulting in a loss of transportation. Unanticipated transitions tend to be more stressful than anticipated transitions as these are circumstances might be less common than the norm of society and that are unexpected; however, that also means the potential for growth is greater.
When Life Doesn’t Work Out Like You’d Thought.
“Nonevent” transitions are expected events that never actually occur, often resulting in feelings of loss.
An example of a nonevent transition is not having children when you always thought you would. Another example is not graduating from high school or college when you had the expectation of graduation in your mind.
Nonevent transitions are categorized in four different ways:
Personal nonevents
Ripple events
Resultant nonevents
Delayed nonevents
When we don’t achieve what we thought we would…
“Personal nonevents” are the personal events and wishes someone expected to have but never achieves. Not having children when one always expected to have children is an example of a personal nonevent. Another example would be the expectation of getting married at a young age and never getting married past the time you thought you “should”.
When expectations placed on others aren’t met…
“Ripple events” are expectations and wishes that we put on others close to us that are also never achieved. An example of a ripple event would be a mother expecting and wishing for her child to graduate college and the child dropping out instead. While the event is not directly related to the mother, it still has the ability to impact her greatly because of her expectations and the life she had dreamed for her child.
When you’re reeling from the blow to someone else…
Similar to ripple events, “resultant nonevents”, are transitions that are not directly related to you but still end up having a huge impact on you by the extent they impact those closest around you. An example would be a grown child having financial difficulty and needing to move back in with his parents.
When plans are put on hold…
“Delayed nonevents” are unexpected events that occur at a much later date than predicted and lays outside the normative time frame. An example of a delayed nonevent would be a couple getting pregnant later in life after having thought they have completed their family.
Sleeper Transitions.
Sleeper transitions are transitions that people are unaware of, as they progress gradually and slowly in an individual's life before making an impactful appearance.
Sleeper transitions usually involve growth of an existing skill in order to thrive in their current circumstances. This could like improving skills for a job, school, or relationships.
In a lot of ways, this type of transition is similar to the work of therapy, a slow growth, but a catalyst for major change.
"Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change"
-Jim Rohn
Questions You Might Have About Life Transitions
Is it okay that I’m having a hard time adjusting?
Most life transitions are normal. No one is exempt from experiencing transition at some point in their lives, and most everyone will experience all of the different types within their lifetime.
It is normal to experience discomfort during the process of change. This actually means that you’re headed in the right direction. Embrace it.
How should I prepare for upcoming transitions?
Times of transition can be very difficult. To best prepare yourself, remember that there is no one right way to handle each difficulty you face.
It is okay to feel overwhelmed, sad, and frustrated. At times you may feel down and depressed and may have difficulty coping with the new circumstances in place. It is also normal to feel some anxiety about the uncertainty that different life transitions may bring.
How do life transitions impact our mental health?
Life transitions impact our mental health by overwhelming us through mental and physical stress or dysregulated emotions or both. They often feel like a challenge to overcome or an obstacle to face.
When facing change, even when it’s anticipated, a person may experience anxiety due to the many unknowns, or may feel depressed about a situation because they have not fully grieved the life they had before the transition took place.
Change is hard and adjusting to change is not always easy, but you do not have to do it alone.
How can counseling help with life transitions?
Counseling can help with life transitions by providing a safe space where you can be open and honest about your feelings. It is a place where you can safely process through the emotions that have surfaced in you and go through the phases of acceptance and change.
In addition, therapy is a place where you can learn healthy coping skills to help you through this life transition. Life transitions are not easy but your therapist is here to help you best navigate through the transition in a healthy manner.
Tips For Managing Stressful Transitions
Give yourself time to reflect on the transition that is taking place.
It is important to notice how special and impactful that times of transition can be in your life. Take time to reflect on the significance and the challenges it brought about, and the person you have become in spite of it.
Recognize it for the special value it has given you and the gratitude you feel toward it. Research tells us that when we can feel grateful for even the challenges in our lives, we have the opportunity to experience even greater life satisfaction than we had before.
Focus on the benefits of change.
Change is not always easy, but it does have its benefits. It is important to see and acknowledge both the positives and negatives of a circumstance to fully grasp the situation.
Focusing on the benefits of change helps in gaining a new mindset that is not always focused on what you are losing but also what you are gaining during this time, be it a lesson in patience, determination, or in learning of your own strength.
“Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis.”
Talk to a counselor.
If the life transition you are going through is too overwhelming, reach out and schedule an appointment. You do not have to navigate this transition alone, and sometimes professional help is needed.
Do not hesitate to reach out so someone from our team can help guide you towards a more effective way of walking through this difficult season of life.
Contact Us Today.
When you’re going through a difficult time, you want to enlist the support of someone who understands, whose been there.
Our team has helped countless individuals come to terms with the change that’s occurring in their lives, and we can help you too.