Your Enneagram Type’s Parenting Style!

By now you may know everything about your Enneagram type but do you know how this plays into your parenting? This is a great tool to reflect on how you parent and consider areas for improvement. If you are familiar with your Enneagram type, you may wonder how you can apply that wisdom to become the most unapologetically dope parenting guru. If you are new to the Enneagram, don’t worry, let’s dive in! 

“The Enneagram is more than your average personality test. It is a tool of inner discovery and growth that helps to identify core ingredients that makeup one’s sense of self. Enneagram coaching, by extension, is the process of using this tool and the framework it provides in order to come to a greater understanding of self, and even how we see certain attributes expressed in relationships with others.”

The main power of the Enneagram is that it reveals not only what a person does, but why they do it, or rather, why they continue to become trapped in particular patterns of behavior. With these types in mind, we can use this when diving into why we may set certain house rules or how we handle mistakes with our children. 

Here's the breakdown of what you might need to hear right now:

Type 1, Moral Perfectionist 

You believe in order and the rule of law. Your child always feels secure with a strong sense of boundaries. Your child will appreciate your consistency and will have a very strong sense of responsibility.

Remember it’s okay to have a little fun. Spontaneity will benefit your children just as much as following the rules. You can always clean up a messy room, but you can never recapture those special moments of playtime you share with your kids, especially when they are small. This year, have some grace for the parents doing it differently than you, focus on what works for your family because it may not work for someone else’s.

Type 2, Supportive Advisor 

You were born to support others and your child benefits by feeling loved and nurtured. You show your children empathy and in return, you’ll be the parent to the teens who still confide in them. 

Focus on learning when to back off and give your child room. It’s normal for your child to experience pain and it’s imperative that you come to peace with it. Life brings difficulty and your child has to learn he or she can endure the challenges they’ll face by themselves. They know they can always come home to your love.

Type 3, Successful Achiever 

You are a high-achieving parent and when you look in the mirror you see a winner and want your kids to experience those same feelings of accomplishment and success. You’ll do everything in your power to ensure your kids succeed, not just at one subject or activity, but at life.

You will need to understand that not all children thrive under the pressure to succeed, even with encouragement, including your own. Although you would love for your children to have your qualities, some kids find packed schedules exhausting and will flame out at one or more activities. Don’t overpressure them to excel and ruin the fun on the way there. 

Type 4, Romantic Individualist 

You love one-on-one time with your children. Your kids will always feel safe expressing themselves creatively and engaging in behavior that lies beyond the norm. Your children thrive knowing they are free to be their true selves and will be accepted and loved either way.

Like you, your children are feelers. Make sure when you are in a low mood you try to pull away and give your kids space. Your emotions can quickly transfer and your kids may feel they are the cause of your mood change. 

Type 5, Investigative Thinker  

Stinky diapers and crying infants may not be your jam, but your parenting takes off at the contemplative eight-year-old who wants to ask a thousand questions. You love watching your children thinking and learning more about their personality.  

As Type 5 parents, you must work to ensure you treat your children with kindness and an appreciation for age-appropriate learning. Remember that children need socialization with others their age. 

Type 6, Loyal Guardian 

You’re one of the most supportive and compassionate parents and your kids know they can always count on you. You instill a sense of responsibility but your kids know you can cut loose and have fun, too.

Although you may see your limits as reasonable, others may perceive you as overprotective. Let your kids push their limits as you overcome your fears and become more open to trusting them.

Type 7, The Entertaining Optimist  

Your abundance of energy, excitement, and zest for life transfers to your kids. You love planning new activities but be cautious; you may overwhelm quieter, less adventurous children and your packed calendar can make you seem unavailable.

It’s essential that you make time for the tedious everyday chores that require your effort like helping with homework, cooking meals, grocery shopping. Even if deemed as boring, they give kids a sense of security. 

Type 8, Protective Challenger 

You may own your own business or work in a leadership role and running your home like you run your business makes complete sense—to you. In your house, it tends to be your way or the highway. You would do anything for the sake of your children and only want to help them succeed.

Your personality is dominant and your kids may feel like there’s no room for them to have their own wants, needs, or personalities. Let your children individuate and not feel as if they are extensions of yourself. 

Type 9, Peaceful Mediator 

You approach parenting with a laid-back attitude, creative problem solving, and a sense of humor. Your kids know they are free to be just who they were meant to be.

With your relaxed attitude, you may be quick to avoid conflict. Remember that kids need boundaries and structure sometimes so they have a firm footing from which to explore life and figure out who they are.

Want to discuss your Enneagram type’s parenting style with a Coach?

Looking for more Enneagram inner reflection in 2021? I offer Enneagram Coaching, where we have the opportunity to meet one-on-one in order to dive into a deeper understanding of you, using the enneagram as a framework for our time together. This option is perfect if you are seeking avenues for personal growth, as, after our coaching sessions, you will leave with a greater understanding of yourself, your core beliefs and motivations, and in essence, why you do what you do. 

In our first session, we will work together to better understand your type, and work to be able to truly answer the question, why “me”? Learn more about my Enneagram Coaching and schedule a session, here.