Life can definitely be exhausting, especially during the holiday season, when we're facing multiple roles and responsibilities with work, family and friends. All these things are needed and are good, but when is it time to put yourself first?

The conversation of boundaries is one that spans across several aspects of life: relationships, physical health, mental health, emotional wellbeing, social life, and many more. Boundaries keep us safe and protect us.

Rarely will we make it through life without having an experience of self-doubt. For some it’s seasonal: the beginning of a new job or career path, putting yourself out there to meet new people after a move or a break-up, or other meaningful life transitions like getting married, becoming a parent, or becoming a parent to a teenager. 

For others, self-doubt creeps in right alongside depression and anxiety and takes hold of your mindset, your motivation, and the pen in your hand as you write the story of your life…

Values give us a ‘code of conduct’ to follow, and can be thought of as rules or guidelines that we live by. They are a kind of compass that guides you. Our values speak of what we believe in, what we stand for, and what is important to us.

If you were able to look back on your life in slow motion, could you begin to pinpoint the exact moments when you made choices that changed the entire trajectory of your life? These can be the big life decisions like where to move or who your life partner is or whether or not to change your career. Choice points can also be the small daily interactions you have with your day that impact your perspective.

Have you been in the midst of trying to forgive yourself for a mistake and a friend comes along and tells you to just “let it go”?

I wish it was that easy to put down the burden and move on, but more likely, deeper healing needs to occur. Carrying around guilt and shame can feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders with nowhere to lay down that load.

Signing up for therapy can be daunting to consider. Sitting across from a stranger and being willing to tell him or her about your past and pain is hardly anyone’s first choice. It can be difficult to imagine being that vulnerable, being that willing to open up and let someone else in, especially when we imagine the setting of such an intimate encounter. Often we think of a dimly lit room, devoid of personality, closed off and silent like you’re tempted to be.

What if the scene was shifted? What if instead of four walls, a desk, and a stranger, you saw trees, felt fresh air, and heard the sounds of life around you?

Think back to the process of growing up. Do you remember growing pains? Physiologically, what happens is that as our bodies stretch and grow; our joints become sore. Sometimes we might even tell our parents about that mysterious soreness, and to our surprise, they chalk it up to “growing pain”.

Do you remember your very first book? Perhaps it was an adventure novel or maybe a simple story about a character’s day. Opening the pages meant that a whole world could come to life before your eyes.